GHOSTHOUSE a.k.a. La Casa 3

  The horrifically gory and unintentionally hilarious plot concerns a ham radio operator and self-proclaimed "computer wiz" named Paul who accidentally picks up a broadcast of someone being stalked and violently murdered.  So he and his girlfriend Lara, do what anyone in their situation would do...  No, they don't call the proper authorities...  They trace the signal and take a road trip to the source of the disturbance, a rumored haunted house on the outskirts of town.  Makes sense right?  Once they reach the house, they encounter the people who's voices sound identical to the ones heard on the aforementioned ham radio signals, only no murders or any sort of violence have occurred...  Yet.   Soon after the group begins exploring the house a little girl in a white dress, carrying one of the creepiest clown dolls ever to appear on film, shows up and one-by-one the group is divided and individually subjected to ghastly goings-on in the Ghosthouse. 
 
   If that sounds like an all too familiar formula and you are now a little scared to take a chance on buying a foreclosed property like Ghosthouse in today's falling housing market, KVLT VISIONS completely understands.  But aesthetically speaking, Ghosthouse does more than just cash in on themes from popular supernatural horror film franchises of the 80's like Poltergeist, House, and Amityville.   It also fits nicely into the "Monster Mash" sub-genre where the kitchen sink approach to movie making is implemented by simply adding random and new monsters, at random, until the whole movie becomes a parade of creature effects like The Monster Squad, Nightbreed, The Freakmaker, Neon Maniacs, The Basket Case sequels, the oft overlooked Spookies, and The Midnight Hour.  (More on those later)  As with most exploitation flicks and especially with Italian knock-off-horror, plot is minimal, atmosphere is heavy, dialogue is heavy-handed, and on-screen violence and gore are the main attraction.  Lenzi's Ghosthouse, is by no means anywhere near the feverish intensity of his early grindhouse-friendly works like his cannibal classics Cannibal Ferox, (Make Them Die Slowly) and Eaten Alive, or his frenetic zombie-fest City Of The Walking Dead, (Nightmare City) but after it is all said and done, Ghosthouse remains a unique hodge-podge of gory supernatural horror devices, and unintentional hilarity, but with just enough Italian guts and gusto to entertain the most jaded cult film junkie.

  Looks like the clown doll from Poltergeist had another starring role in Ghosthouse!

  Without giving away the few plot devices Ghosthouse has, you get to see a creepy ghost girl and her supernatural clown doll (a lot), a corpse in a washing machine, a snarling hound of hell, a crazed slasher who runs like he's constipated, 2 hatchet's to the head, a fan blade death, bi-section by falling blade, defenestration death,  an acid bath, death by garden shears, a maggot-faced grim reaper, crypt and corpse defilement, zombies, and the most gratuitous use of ham radio ever captured on film.  First generation home computer geeks and ham radio enthusiasts take note; Ghosthouse will have you either giggling or grinding your teeth at it's brazen abuse of 80's era techno-jargon. The downer ending was also a nice afterthought.  Just don't expect a serious Euro-shocker from the likes of Ghosthouse.  This is by no means Lenzi's best work, but it is uniquely entertaining in it's own weird way.  If you've seen all or most of the Italian classics by Lenzi, the Bava's, Fulci, Deodato, D'Amato, Argento, Martino, Margherti, and Soavi and are just in need of a quick cheesy snack, then get out the crackers because this is your of filmic feta. 

 
  The Grim Reaper makes his ten-billionth movie cameo in Ghosthouse.  He doesn't mind though, he's got his S.A.G. Union card.  I mean in this day and age, even Death has bills to pay. 

  In the right hands, and with the right amount of mind-altering substances, Ghosthouse is a prime piece of MST3K or Riff Tracks real estate just beckoning for a buyer. But then again, with real estate market the way it is at present, you may just want to rent instead of buy.

Fun facts about Ghosthouse:

Humphrey Humbert, the director of Ghosthouse, is an Americanized pseudonym for Italian filmmaker Umberto Lenzi. 

Ghosthouse was shot in the very same house that was used in Italian horror maestro Lucio Fulci's House by the Cemetery

Ghosthouse is known internationally as La Casa 3.  La Casa 1 and 2 were the international titles for Evil dead 1 and 2. 

La Casa 4 is known in the United states as Witchery, and stars David Hasselhoff and Linda Blair.


 
  Be as cool as this guy and get your mind blown by the absurd and awful  awesomeness of Ghosthouse.

OPEN HOUSE

ORCA: THE KILLER WHALE

   

 

  Due to the recent resurgence of public interest in theatrically released killer aquatic animal flicks like Piranha 3-D, it's sequel Piranha 3-DD, Shark Night 3-D, the seemingly endless barrage of made-for cable and direct to home video market sea monster movies like Mega Piranha, Mega shark, Sharktopus etcetera, as well as the ecologically righteous reality show Whale Wars, The KVLT has decide to skim the sea floor to dredge up a long forgotten sea-bound serial killer whale flick from the 70's.  A film, inappropriately rated PG, but very appropriately titled ORCA: The Killer Whale. 

  Before, you start bringing up Jaws and it's terrible sequels let The KVLT assure you that Orca shatters the clichéd trappings of killer shark flicks in many ways; one way is that it's about a killer whale, two is that it boasts an amazing and unusual soundtrack by spaghetti western and horror composer Ennio Morricone, and the third is that Orca is actually a nature-run-amok revenge movie.  That's right.  Orca isn't just out to indiscriminately devour any unfortunate seafarer or swimmer who happens to cross his path. Orca is out for bloody revenge! 

  The set-up is simple, Orca, the Killer Whale lives up to the killer part of his namesake as he gets stalks the captain and crew of a whaling ship who killed his mate and unborn offspring.  It gets a little complicated when we learn that Orca and Captain Nolan (Richard Harris) have a telepathic link, and that Orca, apart from the usual one-dimensional toothy monsters of killer shark flicks, uses very calculated means of tactical warfare and even revels in the wake of his own  unique brand of bloody vengeance. 


  KVLT VISIONS was at a loss and then awestruck when we saw this!  Name another film that showcases a forced-whale-abortion and it's aborted whale fetus and you will be instantaneously inducted into KVLT VISIONS Hall Of Arcane And Astounding Knowledge. 

  Some highlights include; A forced-whale abortion in graphic detail (pictured above), Orca implementing infrastructural warfare on a fishing community where Captain Nolan and his crew are docked, Orca getting his intended victim, Annie (Bo Derek), or at least her leg, which is shown in up-close, graphic detail in a scene the defies the films very misrepresented PG rating, one of the greatest insult-to-injury shots ever captured on film, as we watch  Orca gleefully crying out while performing celebratory back-flips in the ocean amidst the backdrop of the fishing community he has just demolished, as it rages ablaze in the night sky.  and last but not least, Orca demonstrating a vast understanding of the laws of trajectory and physics against Captain Nolan in a man versus whale, hand to fin, aquatic battle royale. 


When "Willy" is truly "Free" his bloodlust cannot be sated




Fun Facts about Orca: The Killer Whale

Orca: The killer whale was portrayed by a combination of stock footage taken at Marine World in Redwood City, California, and an animatronic whale which was filmed off the coasts of Malta and Newfoundland.

The orcas seen in the stock footage used from Marine World were named Yaka (female) and Nepo (male). They were both captured in 1969. Nepo died in 1980, and Yaka died in 1997.

Orca: The Killer Whale was actress and 70's sex symbol Bo Derek's first film credit

A WHALE OF A REVENGE TALE

STREET TRASH

  Street Trash is a tongue-firmly-in-cheek exercise in exploitative extremes.  Trying to explain the concepts and storylines that make up this 1987 cult classic,  is like calling Ted Kasczynski for tech support.  But what I can tell you about this neon green slime covered cult gem is that it's worth seeking out.  So many things in this movie go above and beyond the normal expectations of the gore bag, gross-out, sub-genre of horror made popular by movies like Dawn Of The Dead, Peter Jackson's Bad Taste, The Toxic Avenger. First off, Street Trash showcases some of the best and most frenetic camera work in a low budget film of it's era.   In fact, after Street Trash, Jim Muro became one of Hollywood's best steadycam operators working on such big budget sets as Field Of Dreams, Terminator 2, Casino, and even Titanic!  Not bad for a guy who once made a movie about how a toxified form of cheap alcohol causes human beings become the equivalent to gore-spewing, Jackson Pollock paintings.  Secondly, The acting is completely over the top and by unknowns, which always lends a real sense of credulity to almost any indie film.  Apparently, some actual homeless people were cast for authenticity.  Which makes it hard to know when lines are actually being delivered, or if the audience is just witnessing the rantings of a chemically addled, mentally ill derelict.  Thirdly, like it's crazed homeless characters, Street Trash prides itself in being a completely random and rough customer.  A sense of deliberate depravity pervades every frame in this film.  So don't get too bent out of shape over inconsistent motives, plot holes, or the overall weirdness of the script.  This movie was made for midnight movie geeks and the cult flick addicted cinephiles who have seen it all and are in need of a new fix, even if the needle is dirty.
 
  Maybe listing a few of the delightfully disgusting gags that Street Trash offers, may explain the heart of the situation?

  My eyes have seen the glory gory of booze that causes multiple melting and exploding vagrants, a man dematerializing until he is nothing but a floating head in a toilet, full frontal male and female nudity, Nam vet hallucinations, mortuary humor, the homicidal use of a knife made from a human femur bone, hilarious banter with mafia goons, one of the most hilarious shoplifting scenes ever, a roid-raging cop's celebratory vomit on a subdued mafia goon after a fight, a game of keep away with a severed penis, gang rape, necrophilia, and decapitation by a Co2 tank!

  If the above mentioned scenes sound too disgusting, absurd, or tasteless, it's because they are, and that's exactly what the team who made Street Trash was going for.

Fun Facts about Street Trash:

Usually classified as a cult horror-comedy, Street Trash is also considered a "melt" movie.  Other notable melt movies are The Incredible Melting Man, Slime City, Body Melt, and The Devils Rain. 

Thunderbird was the original volatile vino used in the short film that Street Trash was based on.  It was changed to Tenafly Viper for the feature. 

Bill the Cop was played by a real NYPD officer named Bill Chepil

Bryan Singer, the man responsible for directing House M.D., The Usual suspects, X-Men, X-2,  and producing X-Men: First Class, Apt Pupil, and Trick 'R' Treat, was a production assistant on Street Trash

Tony Darrow, an actor who's career almost exclusively consists of being typecast in mafioso roles, plays another mafia type in Street Trash named Nick Duran.  He also performs the song "We Do things My Way" that plays during the closing credits. 

À l'intérieur a.k.a. INSIDE (2007)

  Do you tire of the same old human fodder-filled teen slasher flicks?  Do you want to see an actual suspenseful, shocking, and gruesome "killer on the loose" movie that doesn't rely on the attractiveness of the cast or cheap gore gags?  Do you like foreign films?  If you answered yes to these question, then you are ready for 2007's French sleeper, À l'intérieur, or better known in the U.S. as, Inside.

  The movie starts off with a devastating car wreck from which a pregnant woman named Sarah is rushed to the hospital.  Four months later she awakes from a coma to find that she lost her husband in the crash, but their baby is about to be born on Christmas Day.  She goes home to prepare for her baby's delivery only to be stalked by a mysterious woman in black who will go to any homicidal length to steal Sarah's child.  Cue the Ace Of Base single "All that she wants"

  Inside is a perfect example of modern horror done right.   Horror fans will undoubtedly squirm with genuine feelings of unease and overwhelming dread at the grotesquely intense scenes of bodily harm, (and there are many) as well as the practical and painstakingly realistic special effects.  But what really  seals the deal is the oppressive force of the mood.  Juxtaposing while accentuating the brutal and horrific elements of this film, the cinematography of Inside, is an absolute breath of fresh air in the horror genre.  A bleak hazy atmosphere and a fevered sense of desperation hangs heavy throughout.  It's an unshakable foreboding ambiance that most modern filmmakers have unfortunately traded in for POV shaky cam shots and jump cuts every 1.5 seconds.  The minimal yet pulsing electronic score is very effective and fits the pacing perfectly.  Once Inside opens, it gains momentum at a very deliberate clip until it's running full steam ahead.  It moves relentlessly for the the last two thirds of it's duration until it slams to a jarring halt with one of the most horrific ending sequences in horror film history.

  I am glad that the folks at Dimension Extreme released this film a few years back, but I do have my scruples with the packaging (shown above) and the little or no promotional campaign.  The dvd cover art looks like a hurried photoshop project that makes Inside look like another vague but potentially gory slasher flick.  Inside definitely deserves better.  It has the potential to claim a spot in the annals of such slasher horror classics as Psycho, Peeping Tom, Dario Argento's giallos, Bill Lustig's Maniac, Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer...  So if the you are tired of the pandering PG-13 rated psuedo-horror, and teen sex comedies thinly veiled as slasher flicks, then do yourself a favor and give Inside a spin.  It's a true horror film made for true horror fans.

Fun Facts about Inside:

Inside is part of the new wave of extreme horror films from France.  Other notable titles include, Frontier(s), Calvaire: the Ordeal, Martyrs, Them, and High Tension.

Inside was Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo's first time in the director's chair.

Director, Jaume Balagueró of (REC), has mentioned interest in remaking Inside. 

A SERBIAN FILM

  
  Welcome to the absolute most dire of cinematic dregs.  The lowest low in movie history.  The bottom of the barrel has rotted through, leaving the filmmakers of A Serbian Film, as well as it's audience, to burrow further into the soil beneath the barrel, like the flesh-hungry, corpse-feasting worms.  To what or where you might be asking yourself?  To the next level in a continual struggle in the horror film industry for the lowest common denominator?  To chip away at an already deteriorating moral core?  Or maybe, to simply flex political, artistic, and esoteric muscles to an increasingly apathetic world audience fed on the banal redundancy of PG-13 rated Hollywood horror, torture porn, remakes, and Saw sequels?

  Dear reader, do not take my acquiescing of a Serbian Film with being a new low point mortally literal.  Deconstruction and unlearning can be the fuel that furthers progress.  But, when discussing horror films or shock cinema, it's important to make clear the intent, and the very essence of what makes these films resonate.  The most effective horror films to date all seem to have one thing in common.  Horror films, like capacitors in electronics, are vehicles for resistance.  They are built to test the audience's limits in the realm of harrowing experience.  Invariably, it's a race back to our primal fears, our dark recesses.  Down the fabled rabbit hole to find a new lower end, to see just how much an audience can take.  A true horror film's merit should leave it's viewers shattered, then reborn with new perspectives.  Real horror films should act as a proverbial branch or sharp stone that in nature, would help us to slough off old dead skin or sharpen our claws, horns, and teeth.  As Wes Craven puts it, "horror films are the boot camp for the psyche.'

  Some horror films, especially the franchised contemporary lot, prefer to give the audience prerequisite information, holding the viewer's hand through a film's duration.  Others, like Night Of The Living Dead, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, Last House On The Left, I Spit On your Grave, Cannibal Holocaust, leave the viewer naked, in a hopeless cannibalistic nightmare reality without the slightest reprieve.  Few films in horror cinema history have the gall to assault the viewer on so many levels as the above mentioned films.  These hard-edged horrors seem to only come around every few years, almost out of nowhere.  Independently crafted by unknown directors and casts who are hell-bent on lowering us into even darker territories.   Shattering expectations forever, or at least for a while.  With an almost calculable certainty, most contemporary critics will fervently pan and decry the intent of these types of films as being unethical, morally bankrupt, or even pornography.

  Ironically, or perhaps intentionally?  A Serbian Film's story revolves in the world of an aging ex porno actor, Milos, who is requested to star in a new experimental style of pornography.  Knowing that his age is starting to show and that he has a family to support, Milos takes the job in hopes of acquiring enough money to free himself and his family of financial burdens for the rest of their lives.  Unbeknownst to him, the movie that he is set to star in is planned to be the most realistically dehumanizing film project of all time.  The involvement with said project brings an unrelenting terror into his life that has never before been witnessed in horror film history.

  Without giving away much more than what the dvd and blu-ray distrubutors would in the synopsis portions of their packaging,  Just know that A Serbian Film is a true cinematic force.  To be quite honest, if you are not a seasoned veteran of shock cinema, you may want to build up a tolerance by watching some of the above mentioned shock classics.  Or maybe stay away from A Serbian film all together.  It's a heavily debated and detested film for a myriad of reasons and as such should be approached cautiously.  You can't just watch it.  It's not that easy. To say that you have "experienced" it, seems to be a more accurate description.    For someone to say that they "like" or "love" A Serbian Film doesn't seem to truly hold the films undeniable weight either.  It will rape, level, crush, and finally mark everyone who choses to stand in it's path.  Saying that you "fear" or "respect" A Serbian Film may be a more honest appraisal.

  So if you are up for a new, challenging, and ultimately nihilistic horror film experience, A Serbian film is your new high or low, depending on how you look at the philosophy and intent of the modern horror film. 

Fun Facts about A Serbian film:  There is nothing fun about A Serbian Film.